Wednesday, March 16, 2005

What keeps me going??

My family. My friends. My dream.. If you may ask if I have fulfilled the American Dream.. I "might" say yes... basically because I have my own place, I can do whatever I want, I can go to places that I want, and the list goes on and on.. But living on your own is lonely too. Sometimes I feel so depressed coz all my friends are busy on weekdays and I have nothing left to do but stay in my room, watch DVDs, or read a book. I call them once in a while but the feeling is still different if they are right infront of me, just hangout and stuff.. It's really advisable to have a hobby here and get used to being alone coz if not, you'll end up being nosy to other peoples lives.. like me.. I know it's not good... but I keep doing it... I dunno.. when I get hooked to something.. it's like a drug to me... It's hard to let go... not until last night.

I've learned my lesson and promised not to do it again... for the nth time.. =(

They say I'm sweet, easy to please, independent, loyal, strong but behind all that... I'm weak. I really am. I look happy outside but deep down I'm not. I'm empty. I'm nothing..

Oh well, life must go on..

I have a new hobby though, DVD Recording. So if you want a copy of your favorite movie or TV series, just let me know. I have sold 7 DVDs already and I just started this thing yesterday.. I'm not even good at sales talk.. I just use my charm.. hahaha =P

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

ah yaaa.."that" feeling! i can sooo relate! actually i am feeling it now a bit. i miss my home, my bed, my stuffed toys, my mom's cooking (ah ok..so it's NOT that great..but still..hehehe). Funny that i should mention those stuff since i've been living here in the Phil for almost 8 years now. But still, home is where i really wanna be. Although i have great friends here (who is always available for dinner after work etc etc), but still when you arrive home, you are still all alone. Hayyy..ang sad naman..

PS: what keeps me going i think is my dog. I dont know where will i be without him..sounds stupid? Yeah..but that's true. He makes me work harder, dream higher, hope more. When i am all alone and sad, Dumbo has always been there to comfort me, snuggle beside me, give me kisses and he got that "deep look" as if saying.."hey..tomorrow is another day, everything will get better". Ayan mitz, get a dog na!! hahahaha!!

Yan

Siaz said...

How I wish Yan!!! =P I hope the manager of my apartment lets me have a dog na talga. I can't wait.. hehehe All I do is go to pet stores and look at them.. cute-cute!!!

~*lilacstardust*~ said...

i'm so proud of u girl! u've gone a long way achieving the so-called american dream! =) so far, i think u've done good and have been a very strong gal to have gone through all that :) GIRL POWERRRR! :)

heyyyy, i want a copy of the SATC last season DVD which u said had an alternative ending! and felicity seasons 2, 3, 4 wala akong makita dito :( how do i pay u? telegraphic transfer (which i dont know exactly how to go about! hahaha)? =)

Siaz said...

Aileen, are you serious.. as in 100% serious??.. hehehe cge, padala ko dyan. I charge only because of external cost.. expensive kse DVD-R eh.. pero labor of love yan.. of course friend kita.. yun SATC ok pero i dunno abt Felicity, il let u know pag may nakita ako...

Abbie said...

Hello! What happened, girl? Care to chat? :)

Siaz said...

Hi Abs, when are u free? im usually home at 7pm (PST).. catch u later.. mwah!!!